I Guess I'm One of Dem now!

I got an email this past week at work from our adoption agency addressed to "Vietnam Families". I haven't signed the contract with them as they won't contract with anyone until they pass a home study. Actually, that makes me feel a little better about their integrity. At any rate, I thought I'd share the contents of the email so that those keeping up with this "pregnancy without a due date" process will be in the loop.


Hello Vietnam families,

I am writing this update from Florida where I have just helped by eldest
son move into his apartment to attend Florida State University. My emails
were arriving but I was unable to send any. Sorry for the delay but cyberspace
continues to be a challenge for me when I am not in the office.

Motherhood - I got back from Vietnam and the next day left for Florida -to
clean an outrageously dirty apartment . . . not that I want to discourage any of you from the wonders of parenting! My trip was wonderful. Vietnam and its people are truly lovely in spite of the abject poverty and other social issues it faces. We Americans could learn from their attitude and perseverance. I visited all of our gorgeous ******** children and was able to take pictures and video of each child. All the waiting families with referrals should have the pictures by now and hopefully the video soon. Three of our Ho Chi Minh families have their Giving and Receiving ceremony dates and are traveling this week. We anticipated that four of our TH families would also be traveling but there has been a delay in their paperwork processing. The provincial police in TH still have their files and they have not signed off and returned them to the Justice Department. There is an investigation going on, UNRELATED to adoption, that has put everything else on hold. The TH Justice Department is very frustrated by the delay but has no authority to do anything but ask and wait. This is an example of what can happen during the process that is unexpected and over which we have no control. When I am asked about timing and how long the adoption process will take, I try to make it clear that we can guess but it is only a guess. I know that is difficult to hear but it is so true.
I was complaining about this in the car yesterday and my 13 year old son
said to me "patience is waiting without worry." I almost drove off the road
because he is the least patient person I know. When I asked him why he said
that, he told me we had just passed a church with a sign out front and he
was merely reading it, not listening to me at all. I never thought of it that way. It is "without worry" that makes the wait more bearable. Now if (our agency) can help families figure out how not to worry, all will be well!

There is much good news. Our children are healthy and being well cared
for. I was surprised to find that in Thanh Hoa they really do have one
caregiver for every two babies. All of the caregivers I met in HCMC and Thanh Hoa are so nice and affectionate and caring. The children were healthy and clean and happy. I was thrilled! Of course we want them all to come home at the
earliest possible date but it is good for the 'without worry' part to know
your children are doing well in your absence. We have a new (agency) person on Ho Chi Minh City (in addition to our other staff) who will help us substantially increase the number of referrals from the orphanages there. This will shorten the referral process for many of you. I cannot say by how much at this point but I am delighted that we are working with her. I have had a number of inquiries about what you as an adopting family can do to expedite the process. There is nothing you can do from here or in Vietnam to change the timing of your process. If there were, we would already have you doing it. The Vietnam government will not talk with foreigners about anything, adoption included. That is why we have a Vietnamese staff. For some of you, it will go by quickly and without any bumps. For others, it may take longer and have a snag (like the one described above). This has nothing to do with you or your case. Our staff is doing all they can to avoid any delays and will continue to advocate for you and your child. Your adoption will happen and you will be a parent to the best child on earth. I know because it has happened to me (several times) and I know you will tell me so just weeks after you return from Vietnam. Please understand that this is a complicated process and takes the efforts of many people here and in Vietnam. The lack of control is hard to live with but maybe that sign Zachary saw should be on all our refrigerators - "Patience is waiting without worry."

My best to all of you. I will be in touch individually with any of you
for whom I have news.