STOP RIGHT THERE!!!!!!!

I am in the process of making a change. If you would like to know the link to the new blog, please email me. I may post the link in the next day or so, but until I work out some kinks, just email me if you want the new link.
My eml addy is : sharon at tokobobo dot com


Stay tuned . . . . .

State of the Union Address . . . .

MyMy, yo Mama is a hot mess.

In my infertility support group meeting last night I walked in upset at the state of VN adoptions and in the 2+ hour course of the meeting I got ok, then freaked out again, then ok again, then back, then I left ok. This, of course, is even now that I am officially out my estrogen surge part of the month people!!!!!!



I couldn't get a solid read from the group on whether I should return my baby bedding or if that was possibly in my Top Ten Stoopid Financial Moves. Perhaps it is in my Top Five Stoopid Emotional Moves. Perhaps I shall be laughing out loud while I read all this to MyMy in a bed time story. DANG! I'm going nutz again. I just can't help it. I also had to come to terms with the fact that if . . . 'scuse me . . . . WHEN I bring my child home, someone is going to comment on how cute my GRANDAUGHTER is. OK OK OK . . . . One problem at a time.



I've decided I'm ok again. . . . . for the moment. I perhaps will hold off on the crib until I get a referral. Unless I lose it again and say "Damn, the torpedoes". That happens a lot these days. I shall blame it on hormones regardless. Chicks my age are entitled to do that, ya know.



Alas, however, I am not the most lost cause on the planet. Someone sent me wedding pics this morning. I think this chick and/or possibly her groom is far more lost and confused than I am at the moment.

Put your swatters away . . . . it is just my baby bedding.

OK, so . . . . Oh ye of little faith. I am putting my money where my mouth is. I am resisting my usual tendency to expect my house of cards to crumble. I am trying to out run my little cloud of negativity that is desperately trying to find me. I am putting on my "Happy Face" and just doing what I am told. Ergo . . . . I finally went big baby shopping tonight. How do you like MyMy's ensemble? There is another bedding set with the same fabric that has pom pomms. I liked that but I was a little scared she might pull the pom pomms off the bedding skirt and curtains and choke. I did order the mobile though. If she can reach the pom pomms when she stands, I'll cut them off.

So . . .. . what do you think?

. . . . And now I am done.

Many of my friends who are not adopting have no idea what has gotten my panties in a wad. To sum it up:

1. There are unethical adoption practices going on in Viet Nam right now. EGADS!!!!!! THAT has NEVER happened before . . . . not in ANY country!!! The hysteria calls for the program to be shut down. Mainly by people who are kissing their ETHICALLY adopted children goodnight every night. They would have everyone believe that their adoptions didn't fall prey to what they are assuming many other adoptions are falling prey to as we speak. Now, I am officially going on record (as if I have to) as stating that I absolutely want no part of an adoption that was rooted in extortion, coersion, baby-stealing or any other act that isn't humanitarian in nature. I am not so desperate to be a mother that I would want to rob another family of their right to raise their own child. My agency has been run through every conceivable check I could run them through and have passed mine and several other civic, humanitarian, and morally-minded people's litmus test as an ethical agency. They are even on the "Adoption Agencies I approve of" list of one of the more popular blogs. One of the blogs that seem to be respected by all the people calling for radical shut downs. I say this so that I am not accused of "defending" my agency; as I stated below, my agency doesn't need defending. So what is my problem and why am I putting a dog in this fight? People that I have grown fond of in this process are feeling as though their dreams of parenthood are going to be shattered and they have made horrific choices; their agencies aren't as perfect and ethical as the ONE AGENCY that keeps popping up on everyone's blog as ethical. I find it ironic that ONE agency keeps popping up time and time again as the GOLD STANDARD of ethics. Surely, proponents and subscribers of their service cannot seriously think theirs is the agency of choice among those most moral amongst us. Having said that, other people I have grown quite fond of use this agency as well. I find it rather easy to respect them and the choice they made while they went about building their family and I do not want anything I state here to sound contrary to that. I just wish that attitude could be adopted by others before they commence ripping PAP's to shreds without having sufficient information. And lest those of you doing the ripping think you have ALL the information, let me assure you, you do not. I don't proclaim to either which is why I can't place people under the Cyber Firing Squad.

2. Stop-gaps have been instituted to help remedy the adoptions that have taken place that are just starting to appear to officials as inappropriate, unethical, or illegal. I support this entirely. I am a proud American who supports any time my government takes steps to treat ALL people in a respectful and humanitarian fashion and seeks to eliminate corruption. I have also let them know that. I'm not sure if they care whether or not I support them, but it was important to me and my tax dollars paid for the phone they used to listen to me. I feel better already. Now, having stated that, I absolutely do not believe this "unethical, illegal activity" just started. I absolutely do not believe VN is the only country with these issues. I absolutely believe that as long as human nature is flawed, corrupt people will be corrupt and all of our best efforts can't stop them completely. I believe the US is doing the very best it can to continue to offer families who want (need) children the opportunity to be matched with children who NEED loving homes. I believe that their continued willingness to do this with the country of Viet Nam will serve a far greater humanitarian effort than to simply "shut it down". That isn't a solution. How simple-minded for anyone to think so or to suggest such. I trust that our government with a co-op of adoption professionals, AP's, PAP's, country officials, etc. can do better than that and I think they are trying.

3. I work in a field that affords me access to Immigration officials that I didn't realize I had until last week. I found great comfort in having that access this week. I also found great comfort in learning that while problems have been identified, solutions have been identified also. Adoption/Immigration officials in ALL countries are on a regular cycle of looking to improve practices, as well they should be. These are children, after all, and they deserve all of our best efforts to protect them. After my discussion via telephone, I went back and reread the "official statement" provided. It was easier to read between the lines of what was being said through less panic-stricken eyes. Again, I support my government in their efforts to protect the innocent. I understand now, that protection is not to the exclusion of placing children in need with families who wish to love and care for them nor is that on the immediate horizon. This conversation was reiterated in several other phone conversations yesterday. Over and over again, all the important players in my adoption world are seemingly on the same page. That page seems to read that there are issues that are being addressed and agencies/provinces that need reform and there is a commitment to make that happen.

No one needs to run through the village torching anything.

4. I 1000% agree with Jenna on this post: http://babystoll.blogspot.com/2007/11/keep-on-keeping-on.html

5. I wrote out a rhetorical question to those that have their children home already. After careful consideration, I felt that not posting it at this time would be a wiser choice as my goal here is not to cause grief or pain to anyone. It is to help calm an unsettling batch of news in our worlds as of late. Reading the blogs of those whose children are home, has been a great source of joy for me in the past and gave me hope that I too, might someday get to be a mom. I am sorry to say that is no longer the case since a few of them feel the need to vilify others with shocking righteousness. I surely will miss seeing how their precious children are growing and learning and loving.

Now . . . I am going to get back to my brand of blogging and enjoying my adoption process with other people who wish to do the same. I meant what I said about discussing this over the phone if there are any takers. I won't allow you to litter my blog with puke and venom.

Yes, I have been under a rock. I think I'll go back now too.

How refreshing to logon after being "under a rock" for a couple of weeks and find some PAP's who are not willing to stand by and be nailed to a cross by some of the issues cropping up in VN concerning adoption. For those of you that do not know (family and friends of mine that were terrified this might not work out since it is an international adoption vs. domestic), VN is in turmoil right now. Rather, those of us poor PAP's who do not have our children home right now are in turmoil. There are people who ARE home (probably checking on their precious ones right now while they sleep) who are in turmoil because others aren't behaving like they proclaim they would be responding right now. Confused? Imagine how I felt after busying myself to prepare for my child's arrival and reading how VN may shut the program down at any minute because people are pushing babystealers to get them an embryo home and with the quickness barring all ethics, morality and legality. *trying to wipe the sarcasm off my lips*

I did decide to drop out of this drama after spending hours last night and well into the morning looking for Truth in all this "solid information" that we have been given. Truth, I'm afraid, appears to be elusive. Then after about my 38th toss and turn in my bed I decided that I need to make a post about what I have really taken away from all this drama and where my head is about it now. Since starting this journey, I have visited blogs that helped me keep my focus about why I was so hellbent on going to VN in the first place to bring my child home. I'm sorry to say that those places that used to bring me great comfort are now a tremendous source of disappointment, frustration and angst. I'm going to give more careful thought to what I will post, because I don't want my anger at how all this has played out to divert what I actually want to communicate. However, after I make that post and "join in the Reindeer games" I am going to bow out of it all. Rather than allow Bitchy McSnipe comments on my blog, I think I would rather offer up my phone number to those that wish to take me on so that it can be a more interactive show and we'll see how Soapboxy people are when they don't have a World Wide audience to perform for.

And just for the record, my agency has not been mentioned ONCE during all this scandal by VN officials, US officials or any other Adoptive bloggers. They have NEVER been issued a NOID and were doing humanitarian services in VN and several other countries LONG before they took the first dime to process a VN adoption. So don't mistake me for someone getting on a Soapbox to "protect" my agency. They do not need protection because they have nothing to hide. I however just wanted to have a little tiny bit of privacy about who we were using to respect the wishes of my husband who is not nearly as mouthy as I am.

I'll be back and I'm sure, despite my husband's suggestion to let this go, I'll post anyway. Then I'll figure out whether I need to cancel the order I was about to make for what is supposed to be a nursery.

AHEM! *Steps up to the mic*

A letter from the Department of Homeland Security.

NOTICE OF FAVORABLE DETERMINATION CONCERNING APPLICATION FOR ADVANCE PROCESSING OF ORPHAN PETITION


We have been "deemed fit by The United States Citizenship & Immigration Department to furnish proper care to an orphan or orphans as defined by Section 101(B)(1)(F) of the Immigration and Nationality Act. "


I didn't expect this for 2 more months. I am stunned it arrived this early. In NC, 3 mos. 2 wks and 1 day is FAST! I was just thinking on the way home how I haven't been freaking out about waiting on it and how weird it would be when it did finally show up in the mail.

The gubment says we can be a mommy and a daddy!!!!

'Scuse me . . . I'm off for tissues . . ..